I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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