please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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