Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
