my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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