and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
