I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
