like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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