i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
