Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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