I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
