Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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