another moral hangover. fuck.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Semen is not good for contacts.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize