i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
