he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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