I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
