I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
