bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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