I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
