Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
