I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had to cum in my sink.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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