i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
