I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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