dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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