Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
PANTIES FOUND
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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