apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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