Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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