suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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