So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
