I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
