Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
