You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
