omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
