I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
