Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
