shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
