You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Randomize
