I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
