where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
