All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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