I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
