if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
