so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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