I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
