yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
