worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
