Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
