You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
