college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
