Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
