Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
