Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
