is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
