It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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