clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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