im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
