we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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