I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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